Single, Alone and Pregnant
I wasn’t a girl who got drunk, was insecure, or indulged in random hook-ups. Yet, one fateful evening, a wrong choice changed my life forever. This is my story.
I had just turned 21. My parents threw a party where I invited a few friends to hang out at home before going clubbing. I was super excited at the thought of becoming an adult and making my own decisions. Adding to the excitement was the fact I had finished my final examinations at college and we were headed into the summer break.
The party was great. My friends and I had a wonderful time. It was then that we hatched a plan to go to Goa for a short break to celebrate “freedom” from college and plans for the future. The few days we spent in Goa were great. Every day, there was a party at different beaches. One evening, my friends and I decided to head to a popular nightclub.
One thing led to another and we ended up having unprotected sex
The music was loud. The atmosphere was electric, and I was having fun. That’s when a friend suggested that he and I break away from the group and take a drive around Goa at night. I agreed. While we were out, he confessed that he had romantic feelings for me. One thing led to another and we ended up having unprotected sex. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Once back home a few weeks later, I realized I had missed my period. Fearing the worst, I bought a pregnancy kit. The day I saw those two lines indicating a positive result on my pregnancy test, my whole world completely turned upside down. I was living every young girl’s worst nightmare.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was single, alone, and afraid. I literally felt I had no one to turn to. The weight of my own embarrassment, shame, self-hatred, and loss of self-worth was too much to bear. To make matters worse, the person I’d had unprotected sex with refused to have anything to do with me or to help me in any way. That was the sucker punch I didn’t see coming.
My mind was buzzing at light speed. Should I go in for an abortion? Should I tell my parents? If I did, what would they think of me? How will I face society if I decide to keep my baby? What will people think of me? The more I thought about it, the more confused I became.
To make matters worse, the person I’d had unprotected sex with refused to have anything to do with me
I didn’t tell my parents I was pregnant. Instead, I immediately scheduled an abortion, even though I knew to my very core it was wrong. I had never felt so alone. Inside I was desperately screaming, “Who could possibly love me now?”
The days leading up to my abortion appointment were horrible. I was flooded with guilt, depression, and loneliness. I couldn't eat or sleep, and I was avoiding everyone. Then, the weekend right before my scheduled abortion, something changed. I can't describe it very well, but I felt an ounce of hope and forgiveness. For the first time in over a month of depression, turmoil, and shame, I felt loved — amid my brokenness. I realized that I didn't have to do this alone. I could reach out. Someone surely could be there for me.
That day changed me forever. I finally built up the courage to tell my parents I was pregnant. They were very disappointed at first but didn’t condemn me. To my surprise, they embraced me and supported me in the choice I would finally make, which was to keep my baby.
This gave me the courage that I would need in the years to come. My beautiful baby daughter is now 4 years of age. It was grace alone that led me to a wonderful man who accepted and loves my daughter as his own. We are now married.
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